Calming Chaos

When my mind gets in an uproar I write any and every word that comes to mind. Free writing helps work out whatever is going on. Some words will be printed, some will be illegibly scrawled, some will be in cursive, and some will be no more than the first couple letters and squiggles behind it.

I don’t know if the way the words appear have anything to do with it, but afterwards. I feel calmer, spent in a good way, the bad excess has been dealt with, leaving a fresh new outlook. The only free writing exercise I timed was for writing 101. It lacked the same furious energy that other free writings had. However there were phrases and half formed ideas instead of random words.

The night before last was one of the chaotic nights. My pen scratched furiously at the paper instead of it’s normal smooth flowing glide. At least no paper was torn or harmed during the process. In my haste I have punched holes or ripped my paper in my rush to get it all down. Several themes kept coming up; trapped or confined, running away or breaking free, and self doubt or being unworthy. These tell me a lot about my state of mind but not how to fix it. I have taken a couple of days to pen this post not because you, dear reader need to read it, but I needed it.