Calming Chaos

When my mind gets in an uproar I write any and every word that comes to mind. Free writing helps work out whatever is going on. Some words will be printed, some will be illegibly scrawled, some will be in cursive, and some will be no more than the first couple letters and squiggles behind it.

I don’t know if the way the words appear have anything to do with it, but afterwards. I feel calmer, spent in a good way, the bad excess has been dealt with, leaving a fresh new outlook. The only free writing exercise I timed was for writing 101. It lacked the same furious energy that other free writings had. However there were phrases and half formed ideas instead of random words.

The night before last was one of the chaotic nights. My pen scratched furiously at the paper instead of it’s normal smooth flowing glide. At least no paper was torn or harmed during the process. In my haste I have punched holes or ripped my paper in my rush to get it all down. Several themes kept coming up; trapped or confined, running away or breaking free, and self doubt or being unworthy. These tell me a lot about my state of mind but not how to fix it. I have taken a couple of days to pen this post not because you, dear reader need to read it, but I needed it.

Advertisements

One thought on “Calming Chaos

  1. I know the feeling,James, but my thoughts seem to play out like a movie scene in my head, and when i wake i grab the pad..(.Not the paper pad though, im ipod generation now) i type away, leaving behind a trail of underlined spellcheck errors and americanisms i never go back and correct. But the idea is down, and im happy that ive moved my characters on that little further towards that unknown destination. Then i just bask in the glow of what has been achieved for the day- unless i get another flash of head movie.

Comments and feedback are welcome! I will read and resond to you.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s